5 Reasons Nick Saban Would Be A Terrible College Football Commissioner
In a recent interview on The Paul Finebaum Show, Alabama Head Football Coach Nick Saban said he thinks we need a commissioner of college football.
Some, including Saban himself, have hinted to the possibility of Nick becoming that first commissioner of college football once he’s done coaching in Tuscaloosa.
It’s pretty obvious this would be the worst thing in the world for Auburn, but here are five reasons why it would be terrible for college football in general.
- No kick returns on missed field goals
First things first, commissioner Saban would make it illegal to return kicks on missed field goals, claiming it’s a silly rule and terrible way to end a game. If a team is willing to kick a field goal they have no business kicking, they shouldn’t be punished if the other team decides to put their fastest guys on the field against a bunch of offensive lineman.
- He’ll punish schools when fans leave early
Saban has made it known that he gets mad, even at the people in Tuscaloosa who pay his ridiculously large salary, when they leave a game early. Forget the fact that these people paid money to come and go when they please, and that some came from far away and possibly want to get home at a decent hour without having to fight traffic all night. Saban will be watching blowout games closely to see what school has fans leaving early. He’ll make them chain the people in until the clock strikes zero.
More from Fly War Eagle
- Ex-star Auburn DL confronts ‘slant man’ in MNF post-game video
- Ex-Auburn star laments not getting to face fellow Heisman candidate
- Analyst expects third-year RB to take AU rushing lead from surprising transfer
- Hugh Freeze was the right hire to truly embrace Auburn
- Auburn football Jack LB: ‘We’ve got to earn our respect back’
- A Return of Emperor Palpatine
We all know the story of Emperor Palpatine, the Sith Lord that ruled a galaxy far, far away for years based on fear. Saban would once again allow the Dark Side to rule with fear as who would want to go up against someone so powerful that cries every time something doesn’t go his way. He’s like a spoiled brat that will cry until you give him what he wants, but instead of spanking him (or putting him in timeout, whatever your punishment preference is), the people of football will be those parents that just give him what he wants so he’ll shut up.
- No more fast-paced offenses
Right after Saban eliminates kick returns on missed field goals, he’ll make sure to eliminate fast-paced offenses in college football. A 10 second rule will be put in place so defensives have time to make substitutions and get set before the ball is snapped. Therefore everyone will be forced to run the style of offense that Saban-type defenses can keep up with.
- When things get tough, he’ll bolt
Being the commissioner of any major sport has to be one of the worst jobs in the world because everyone hates you. Look at Rodger Goodell, commissioner of the mighty NFL, he gets booed every time he steps on stage at the NFL Draft and is possibly one of the most hated commissioners in the history of sports. Same can be said for the now retired David Stern and Bud Selig. Once the job becomes too much for Saban to handle he’ll blot and leave college football in crumbles like he did the Dolphins.
I’m not completely on board with Gus Malzahn when he said he’s “happy the way it is” in college football when asked about the possibility of a commissioner, but I’m definitely not on board with that commissioner being Nick Saban.
There does need to be a more centralized voice in college football, but it needs to be someone that has the guts to not give up when things get tough. That person will never be Nick Saban.