Auburn football: So many penalties, even fans were getting yellow flags tossed at them

The Auburn football team defeated the Washington Huskies, 21-16, on Saturday in the most frustrating fashion ever. Both teams combined acquired 22 penalties –12 of those penalties went against Auburn for 111 yards.

Oh, Auburn. Sweet, sweet Auburn. To be a fan is a great honor because the Tigers are so unpredictable. Fans had no idea what to expect on Saturday as preseason No. 9 Auburn faced off against No. 6 Washington. We all know from prior experience to approach every season with caution.

This year we knew there would be plenty of changes with question marks on every side of the ball but nothing on Earth could possibly prepare fans for this season opener. Fans everywhere were left emotionally drained despite winning. Auburn fans’ pets’ heads were falling off. I also believe I could hear my neighbor six houses down scream expletives at their television.

If flags were cheese cube samples, these refs were handing them out like it was Saturday at Costco. By the end of the game Auburn had totaled 12 penalties for 111 yards in a nightmare scenario where anytime Jake Browning launched an incomplete pass it was almost implied that Auburn would be called for pass interference.

Every time.

It wasn’t just a nightmare for Auburn, however. Penalties for both sides included, but were not limited to: offensive pass interference, defensive pass interference, chop block, illegal block in the back, illegal pick, facemask, offsides, false start and holding.

The psychological effect of excessive penalties was felt by all. When I wasn’t dreaming about Kevin Steele’s blitz last night my sleep was interrupted by visions of flags being hurled at me. Here is a list of penalties Auburn fans received during the game.

“EXCESSIVE CELEBRATION, GAME ATTENDEE IN SECTION 302. RESULT IS A MISSED FIELD GOAL FOR AUBURN”-referees, probably.

Referees:

*sees Michael being born*

*throws flag*

“VIOLATION OF DRESS CODE, AREA CODE 205. PENALTY IS A 36 YARD COMPLETION FOR WASHINGTON”-referees, probably.

Referees:

*drive up to AUtitude’s home*

“No, no this will NOT do”

*rips Auburn flag down, ties up giant yellow flag*

Referees:

*observing game, sense disturbance, grab binoculars*

Ref 1: “MY GOD, RON IS GETTING UP.”

Ref 2: “NOT ON MY WATCH.”

Ref 2: *throws flag*

*Somerdaydreams claps*

*Referee 1 teleports to her location*

“SHE DIDN’T GO TO JARED”

*throws flag*

*referees watch Jarrett Stidham get held*

Ref 1: “Hey do you hear something?”

Ref 2: “AN AUBURN FAN IS BREATHING!”

Ref 1: *throws flag*

Ok to be honest with you all maybe MARTA needs to hire these referees to regulate their daily operations. You would understand if you have ever had a MARTA experience.

“ILLEGAL COMPLIMENTING, ON THE OFFENSE. RESULTS IN AN INEFFICIENT RED ZONE AUBURN OFFENSE”-referees, probably.

“NO OTHER YELLOW OBJECTS ALLOWED UNLESS THEY ARE FLAGS!”-referees, probably.

Start them out young, Auburn dad! Congratulations, there is no penalty for showing that baby your love for the Tigers!

If we’re gonna get flagged for barning then go ahead and flag us all, refs. We won’t go down easy this season.

There you have it — Auburn may have been whistled for 12 penalties, but the result was one win.