Auburn football: What fans learned, are saying in aftermath of Southern Miss win

The Auburn football team played Southern Miss last Saturday for Homecoming. What was expected to be a blowout win turned into an offensive dumpster fire complete with a three-hour weather delay.

Auburn defeated Southern Miss 24-13.

Last Thursday I accurately predicted how many points Auburn’s defense would let Southern Miss score! Southern Miss did in fact score 13 points, however I am a complete idiot to have thought that Auburn’s offense would have been run any differently than in the preceding week. I somehow thought that Auburn’s anemic offense would be capable of hanging 48 points.

Boy, was I wrong.

There is one word and one word only to describe Auburn’s offensive performance on Saturday: “yikes.” Last week I said I would rather lobotomize myself than watch Auburn’s offense continue to self-destruct and after sitting eight hours in Jordan-Hare on Saturday I felt that I had received that lobotomy.

This isn’t the article where I feed you all the offensive stats, for this is the article where Auburn football fans take over. Leaving the stadium disillusioned on Saturday, I of course took to the internet, and you will not be disappointed.

So, what did we learn on Saturday!?

Auburn’s defense has allowed only five touchdowns all season, the fewest in the country. I see no lies.

Jarrett Stidham needs what Nick Marshall had in 2013 and that is an offensive line.

YES, MAC.

LET’S TRY PLAYING OTHER PEOPLE!

REWARD WILL BE PROVIDED, PLEASE HELP.

OK I’ll type quieter then…

“Your never-ending subjection of misery starts now” — Auburn PA guy on Saturday.

Shoutout to Auburn247 for handing me their Twitter account like it was a small child.

*cough cough they’re talking about why our offensive line is trash cough cough*

Whoa do y’all hear something? What?

First-time caller, long-time listener!

Have him bring his offensive line too.

It will never be easy.

I was already horrified before writing this but now I’m just in complete despair.

RAGE AGAINST THE MALZAHN.

My keyboard doesn’t contain enough characters for me to profess my full love for Kevin Steele.

AUBURN FOOTBALL HAS FILLED US WITH CONSTANT ANGST. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR TOMORROW. IT’S NOT A PHASE, MOM.

Alright now that we’ve reflected on this past weekend let’s look ahead to Mississippi State!

Ok, that was a mistake. Jennifer has the right idea here even in the most dismal of times.

In summary, yikes. I echo many of these frustrations, but while writing this a Florida fan told me that I can always become a Gator fan. In that moment I remembered that I would rather sit through Auburn games that feel like root canals than ever root for any other team.

War Eagle.