Gus Malzahn the SEC’s Quarterback Bachelor

In honor of the SEC Network’s fifth birthday SEC Shorts released a video featuring Gus Malzahn parodying the bachelor in search of the perfect quarterback.

Ah, ABC’s  ‘The Bachelor.’ It has everything reality television lovers could ever want. Drama, love, betrayal, chicken nuggets, and suspense. What would make a better parody than Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn’s search for a starting quarterback?  Absolutely nothing.

First of all I have no idea how Gus committed to doing this so shout out to SEC Shorts creator Josh Snead for this gem.

We’re 17 days removed from kickoff against the Oregon Ducks and we still don’t know who Auburn’s starting quarterback will be. Will Malzahn choose 5-star true freshman Bo Nix or 6″5 redshirt freshman Joey Gatewood? If you came here for an answer keep looking, because Malzahn still does not have an answer after the Tigers’ second fall camp scrimmage.

Both Gatewood and Nix have led the first team offenses in both preseason scrimmages. Both quarterbacks struggled to get the offense going in the first scrimmage but showed improved performances in the second scrimmage today. At SEC Media Days Malzahn described both quarterbacks as being a run threat and throughout camp their teammates have said they can both throw the ball around and take great command over the offense.

As of right now Auburn’s biggest deficit lies in the hands of the receivers. Dropped passes and inconsistent plays have plagued the preseason Tigers and both competing quarterbacks have had to adapt to an unbalanced passing game. Question marks also linger over the offensive line despite all five starters returning after a lackluster season. Both of these players a dual-threat guys, but the “quarterback wristband” will go to the quarterback with the best pocket presence.

This offense is going to require an “ice in his veins” quarterback that can create positive yards in the midst of pocket breakdowns. Oh, and he has to have an arm that launches the football like its a heat-seeking missile. After A-Day I believed that Gatewood would be named the starting quarterback, but after the first two scrimmages I’ve changed my tune. Nix may be a true freshman but he is extremely polished.

Gus Malzahn needs to announce this season’s starting quarterback the same way he selected a quarterback in the Bachelor spin off.

“Bo Nix/Joey Gatewood, will you accept this quarterback wristband?”